Song on Repeat - You Are More (Hillsong Live)

Popping my head out of a writer’s den to send out a “song on repeat”… I’m busy these days getting everything prepared for my church missions trip to Haiti. September will be a life-changing month for me and my church team. Please pray for us for finances, health, safety, and that we will be able to do all that God wants us to do there.

Now by “writer’s den”, I mean that I have been working on some writing in preparation for the kid’s program we’ll be doing for the kids in Haiti. Please pray for me as this is something I’ve never done before. J

Now, the song…

Earlier this week I told you about my desert experience this summer.

Well, in addition to the desert I have felt that I’m in a time of waiting… a test of patience & endurance.

Today as I went through my work day and then the million things I had to do after work, I felt as if – for the first time in a while – that Jesus was right there, helping me through my day. He’s so beautiful.

This feeling was confirmed tonight when He – who knows exactly how even the simple things in life make me happy – gave me a bottle of cotton-candy scented nailpolish (yes, it really is!).

I know… you’re thinking that’s silly. But Jesus really does give me things like that! Ask me for the story next time you see me, and I’ll tell you how Jesus gave me that little gift – as worthless to the world as that may be, it was exactly what Jesus knew I wanted. J

But here I am rambling about nailpolish…

The song…

He is more.

There are times in life when we can’t always see Him or understand what He’s doing, cuz everything is in His timing.

No matter what season you’re in, whether it’s a waiting season – waiting without knowing what’s next, but relying on the confidence that your God is able to carry you through. Or even if you are just in a season of growth, change or stepping out in faith into the unknown.

Whatever your season, fix your eyes on Him!
Whatever He's taking you thru right now, KEEP GOING! 
Nothing worth having comes easily. 
Everything in this song fills my heart with a new hope and excitement to see what's next. 
It's an anticipation aspect... Jesus is just waiting to show us more, but first we have to trust Him. 

Listen to this song tonight and remember who He is…

remember the Man who knows everything about you.

Even more than you do.

Jesus, you are more than my words could ever say.

You are Lord over all my days

I will see this season thru

I will fix my eyes on you… only You.

Happy Sunday tomorrow everyone!

May you seek His presence constantly! 

Desert Inspirations...

Dry times… we all have them.

Whether it’s because you’re too stubborn to accept what God is trying to do in your life, or if you just simply can’t see the sunshine anymore.

You know He’s still there. But for some reason you can’t bring yourself to believe that there’s a silver lining in that cloud.

Sometimes the desert and wasteland is so long, so hot, and so tiring that we would give anything for just one drop of hope in our thirsty hearts.

If you feel like this, you’re not alone.

But He loves the world… so much.

Times are dry. You are thirsty. You haven’t seen the sun in days – perhaps weeks or even months. It’s cloudy, but the clouds do not release the rain you crave… all they do is hinder your focus.

You’re starting to lose hope.

It’s hard to choose to believe that your beloved Jesus is still there.

But let hope arise and darkness will tremble in His holy light…

A prayer in the desert – a heart’s cry from a throat cracking with tears. Your only sustenance is tears. And half the time you don’t even know why or how you got here.

But in the end you find something else sustains – His Love.

His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.

So when all else fails and all you see is desert for miles around you… reach out a weary hand and grasp firmly the waiting hand of the beloved.

His grace sustains. His love is water to a soul craving life and hope.

Hear the voice of the beloved calling you out of the wilderness.

The LORD will guide you continually,

      And satisfy your soul in drought,

      And strengthen your bones;

      You shall be like a watered garden,

      And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:11

This has been my season.

But as of tonight I refuse to believe the lies that the enemy of my soul would have me discouraged by.

This is my honest unguarded moment to my readers…

I was wrong, and I’m sorry I gave up on His dreams for me for a little while.

A desert is exactly what it sounds like… but I am not deserted.

My Beloved, Jesus is a well – living water.

So here I am… believing. Waiting. Yearning for more of Him.

Dreaming again and living a life of faith in a God bigger than my circumstances.

A slap in the face with truth, is better than lies with a kiss…

Or as Proverbs says…

Wounds from a sincere friend

      are better than many kisses from an enemy.  

Thanks to the sincere friends who stood by me through this desert. I can’t promise I won’t need more encouragement… but this is my heart’s cry tonight that you would read this and understand where I’ve been.

I’m thinking of love like a fire… did you know that when you’re at your driest time, that’s when the fire can catch the easiest?

Perhaps that’s why He leads us through the desert times… so we can be better prepared for the fire that will refine us into who He created us to be.

Just some thoughts I had this Monday night… J

One last thing to leave you with… a voice of truth.

He knows me, He knew everything in my life would happen before I did.

And He still WANTS me!

and you too… don’t give up! Ok? Let His love sustain you.

 The Message:

The song: 

Loving Monday...?

Loving Monday…?

What???

……………

So today Monday changed my mind…

Here’s how it started.

Yesterday at church my amazing Pastor John Finochio preached a message called “MyCrossroads”.

It was basically about who we are as a church and how we need to BE the church Monday-Saturday and then we just have a family gathering once a week – that’s Sunday services. J

Sunday’s are made for the best of times with people who love you and support you. Your church is meant to be family. A community extended from your immediate family. A group of people to laugh and cry with you thru life.

But I’m not writing this to include a re-cap of PJ’s sermon (amazing as it was), I simply want to state that Mondays do NOT have to be the dreary, mundane, dreary, slowest, “need-my-coffee-NOW… or ELSE”, kind of days that we all dread.

I don’t really know how to say this, (I’m tired, and writing this fast, cuz when else is a better time to post this… but a Monday? J)

So here’s my thought…

If church on Sunday is really all it’s supposed to be, and meeting with your spiritual family is really uplifting and God uses that time to fill you up and give you excitement for another week of “being the church” out there in your homes and jobs…

Then WHY are we buying into the depressing lies of MONDAY?

It’s like we just had the best Sunday… we had a great worship service, maybe you cried when Jesus showed up for you (and He usually does that, you just need to look for Him)… then Pastor gave a great sermon. Maybe you even went up for prayer afterwards.

So if his sermon made such an impact on you and Sunday was such a great day of friends, family, fellowship… etc. etc. etc.

Then WHY is it that Monday morning it takes more than one cup of coffee to get going?

Why does the sunshine mock (no beach days for you, you have to go to work!) and the snooze button get hit again for just 5 more minutes of sweet sleep?

I ask all of this, cuz these are questions I battle every single Monday of my life!

If you are a Monday-dweller like I am, then this blog is for you.

If you are not… well praise the Lord! 

(please comment on this and teach me your optimism!)

I have lived in a Monday state of mind for a while now.

I have the best church… I would rather be there than anywhere else on this earth… it’s not the building, it’s the people and what we’re working towards. The dreams God is giving us. J

But for some reason every Monday I have woke up frustrated with life for some reason or another.

But today I got thinking… why all this negativity?

Shouldn’t we be MORE refreshed… built up… encouraged… full of life?

Shouldn’t Mondays be the day that our hearts are still reverberating from the great church family time we had the day before?

(and hey… if you still don’t get what I mean by church family, I would LOVE to tell you exactly what church family means to me, but can’t explain in this particular post. E-mail me? J )

Shouldn’t Monday be the day we jump in with both feet – no coffee needed – and really just give it all up and serve Jesus with a new passion and love that is rarely seen in this generation?

Why can’t Mondays be that way?

Oh I can hear you cynics… you say this is crazy… you say church is just a social gathering… perhaps your cynical nature makes you want to agree that Mondays are mundane and we should detest them as much as anyone in the world.

But listen to what Jesus said…

“…Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

So basically, Mondays will come… of course there is a possibility they may be exhausting… and perhaps you’ll even feel like giving up.

But see! Even tho we have troubles, HE has already overcome them!

Even if everyday was Monday, we don’t have to be just slumping through life trying to make it to the next weekend, because with Jesus in our lives we should be over-joyed to be living out a troublesome Monday just for the pure fact that He loves us.

So dear friends… don’t get caught up in what this world wants you to think about Mondays (like I have so many times).

Don’t let the enemy of your soul rob the joy that was imparted to you on Sunday just as soon as the Monday sun rises.

Don’t press snooze that extra time and grump  your way through yet another work week.

Live life above the ordinary.

Choose to focus on Jesus and who He is… instead of yourself and who you are and where your life isn’t headed.

Lift your eyes a little higher than your circumstances and then just simply let God be God and lead you through a week of living for Him.

Not easy… but here’s something to remember.

A play on words, if you like…

Yesterday in church my pastor said the word “RE-member”… you are a member of the body of Christ. On Sundays you RE-member yourself to the body (as opposed to dismember… and that sounds painful).

On Mondays, I think we should learn to REJOICE!

I mean by this, we should make an effort to RE-Joy ourselves in our circumstances.

Joy is not being happy all the time… it’s focusing on who God is and the love we have for Him in spite of what surrounds us.

I’m still learning this, but I hope my Mondays are better because of this little Monday thought. J

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s almost midnight and my Monday is officially over.

Bring on TUESDAY! J J J   

Graduation Syndrome

Ever felt like you were at a constant “crossroads” in life? 

(metaphorically of course… although as an intern I had been constantly at Crossroads. No pun intended.)

Approximately every two years I come to this place where it’s like “OK… I’ve done this and this and this… now what?” and then I go into a great time of waiting where God teaches patience… 

which I am very very bad at.

“What’s next?” I constantly ask… and where do I go from here?

So here, for you dear reader, I am going to break this wonderful time of life down into several areas of diagnosing this problem that I’ll call…

GRADUATION SYNDROME.

Graduation Syndrome (or Grad-Syn) is most common in young adults of approximately between the ages of 17-27.

However, there can sometimes be relapses of Grad-Syn later on in life that is more commonly known as the “Mid-Life Crisis”.

Symptoms of Grad-Syn can include (but are definitely not limited to – every person has their unique blend of symptoms) :

-          inability to surrender the future to God

-          worry (either about the future, money issues, or often just what to do with your life in general)

-          loss of focus

-          OCP (Obsessive Compulsive Prayer) 

Now we all know it’s an amazing thing to come to God with everything that’s going on in your life. But if you suffer from Grad-Syn, chances are you will tend to obsess about praying about anything and everything that pops into your brain about where your life is headed and you may even obsess about why nothing has happened yet.

I’ll tell you why… it’s not God’s TIME!

When we OCP, sometimes we take the focus off of where it should be and we can turn into these incredibly selfish beings praying prayers like that are so totally ME-focused.

Stuff like “Jesus if you could just work this out for ME I will do anything else for you that you want…” or “please just let me do this with my life and then I can do this for you.”

This attitude is completely selfish and when we are thinking and praying this way it is very difficult for God to bring us where He wants us in life – into all the great things He has called us to do. (Do not confuse calling with actually doing. God can call you to something, but if you don’t take instruction, get wisdom, and build character, what’s He gonna be able to do with you? Not much. This is something I’ve been learning first hand the last two years as an intern.)

Often we are so distracted by what we think we want in life, that we can miss out on what God really has for us.

We lose focus.

It’s all a part of Graduation Syndrome.

So how do we regain our focus?

How do we stay focused on God and not our own selfish ambitions?

In my experience it started with God stripping things away. 

Anything I’ve ever been selfish about He decided to kinda repossess, I guess you could say. (since it was all His in the first place)

When it was finally down to just the bare bones of me and my relationship with Him, He was able to speak to me and release something… it’s in a place of complete surrender that Jesus likes to show up, make you fall to your knees and just shake your world till you realize that it’s all about Him.

It’s all about humility and realizing that He is in control.

When it’s all about Him, your prayers start to change.

Instead of being entirely “me” focused, you start to pray for people and situations in life more. before you know it people’s lives are changing around you and eventually you’ll look back and stand in wonder at where God has brought you.

This is the last phase of Graduation Syndrome. And I think it’s a good place to be.

Always ready for change. Cuz change in life is such a needed thing!

During the early stages of Graduation Syndrome, change can cause worry, stress and all the other things that tear your focus off of who God is.

It’s all a process God takes us through… great thing is, He’s right there the whole time.

Once we shift our focus to Him, He promises to work all things together for good. He directs our steps and knows exactly what we need, when we need it.

If we stay focused on Him and what HE wants more than the Graduation Syndromes of life, a crazy thing happens. Things start to work out in your own life.

It’s like I’ve said before – He knows what you want, even before you do.

Things work out better when He’s running things.

This worrying we tend to fall back on, it’s just a syndrome.

Perhaps it’s not just me dealing with this, since graduation… perhaps it doesn’t just affect people between the ages of 17-27… perhaps it’s during all graduations of life.

During every process He takes us through to mold us into what He really wants us to be.

All of life is a graduation… and all of life is a beautiful change that He brings about in His own timing. A change that not only reveals more of who we are, but more importantly more of who HE IS.

Stay focused.

Seek His face.

He is the only antidote for Graduation Syndrome.

His face holds all the hope for your future.

A journey of trust.

A pursuit of Him.

Then stand back in wonder – years later – 

at all that He has done in your life.

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 

Jeremiah 29:11 (the Message)

Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

(New Living Translation)

Song on Repeat - Show Me Your Glory

Trying to decide what to tell you, dear reader…

Jesus is just so amazing. If you don’t know Him personally, my heart aches for you. And I know His does too.

This week’s “Song on Repeat” is full of a passion I wish everyone understood…

Can’t explain the depths of His love that is found in His presence in worship…

If you’re searching, keep going.

If you’re chasing Him, dear friend, keep running.

If you’re singing, sing til your voice is a remaining whisper.

If you see Him a little, beg for more.

Cuz He is so much bigger than our little human minds can possibly fathom.

Pursue His presence, and He will pursue and capture your heart.

Show Me Your Glory

- Jesus Culture –

I see the cloud, I step in

I want to see Your glory as Moses did

Flashes of light and rolls of thunder,

I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I'm marked by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes

I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did

Your glory surrounds and I am overwhelmed

I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Oh how we love you, Oh how we love you

Oh how we love you Jesus

Small-town Joys...

“I live a small life… well, valuable, but small.” 

(Meg Ryan – “You’ve Got Mail”)

I was trying to comprehend why I love my life here so much.

There isn’t really anything special that goes on in this town. People are the same here as they are anywhere…

We go to work, go shopping, and keep a relatively slow pace (well, for Ontario, we are slow-paced… if you compared here with – say – Nova Scotia or other such delightful places, we are chaotic!)

And people are born here, they fall in love, they live a great small-town life, and they die.

This town I live in has its wonderful quirky people… the man who sits on a park-bench just so he can snag the next person walking by and keep them for 20 minutes talking about nothing in particular. Or the lady who randomly stops you in the middle of the drug-store just to catch you up on the latest gossip, about people you’ve never even met. Or even the harmless drunk who knows everyone by name, but is never seen sober even at 9 in the morning. And don’t forget my favourite… the button man. He rides around on his bike and sells hand-painted buttons (you know, the kind you pin on your shirt) shaped like flowers and lady bugs and rainbows for $2, and claims that’s how he makes his living! J

My town is quite picturesque… beautiful parks by the river – ducks and all. A downtown café with hand-made chocolates, great coffee in the winter, ice-cream in the summer. A clock-tower surrounded by park-benches and memorials to the veterans who gave their lives so we could live free in this beautiful country…

You get the idea… it’s a regular small-town in the middle of nowhere.

It’s also the kind of town where kids grow up… kids with great potential, though they never know how much potential they have. Kids who, by the time they hit high school, will have succumbed to the lowest expectations our society offers to this generation.

Kids with a God-planned future to change things and live with a passion for God that this world has yet to see.

And yet these kids will grow up and spend all their lives trying to get out of this small town (and not saying all of them won’t, but the majority will stay) and in the end, they might wonder why they stayed and if their lives were effective at all.

I am one of these kids… didn’t see the potential. Didn’t know God had a plan for my life… for years I dreamt of getting out of small towns.

Yet God keeps taking me back to these little places that He created.

People are people. No matter where.

And God loves people.

So here I am. 23 years old… and I’ve fallen in love with these small towns all over again. (I say this in the plural sense, since there are so many towns in my area that I spend various amounts of time in)

God brought me back here, and though I have a love for adventure and the unknown, not to mention this desire for TRAVEL is crazy strong sometimes!

But I had a thought the other day as I strolled main street, coffee in hand, after just saying goodbye to a best friend before heading back to work…

What would life have been like if we hadn’t come back to the small town?

What if I didn’t work where I am, and didn’t have the friends that I do… I would sooner have it so the sun didn’t shine or even set in clouds of fiery pink and purple… though it does that here almost every night as well.

What if I hadn’t listened to God when He said to stay here?

None of this would have happened and I wouldn’t be who I am today.

It’s true, nothing’s perfect… and some days I just want to run far away from it all…

But God’s faithfulness never changes.

It’s funny how all of a sudden life isn’t about what I want anymore… but it’s so strange how, when I finally realized it’s all about what He wants, turns out it’s exactly what I really wanted in the first place.

So if you are reading this… remember: what HE wants is most important. And when He’s directing your life, nothing will compare to the joy that comes in seeing His plans unfold for you.

It’s what you really want, but might not know it yet. J

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

      I will advise you and watch over you."

 - Psalm 32:8. 

Danny - for those who have been praying.

Danny

Let me let you in on 2 of the craziest weeks of my life…

Some of you know my little brother, Danny. You know how he came to our family, and how much potential he has, and the smile and laugh that is extraordinary only to his personality.

You know his awesome sense of humour, and the brilliant mind he has.

And some of you don’t know him… don’t know the impact he’s always had on our family.

You don’t know… but you knew enough.

You knew something of the concept of the “6 degrees of separation”, that connect you in one way or another to the brown-eyed boy in the wheel chair.

Or maybe you didn’t even know that… maybe you’ve just heard that he needs prayer.

2 weeks ago, Danny went to the hospital. He had a twisted bowel, he had emergency surgery, and since then it’s been an up and down roller-coaster of emotions, tests, allergic reactions, and tubes… and my one brave little brother.

Reasons doctors only recently discovered.

But miracles happened.

God is greater.

Faith is a choice, my friends.

If you choose to stare at the trial God is taking you through – in this case, worry for my little bro – then that is all you can see. It’s like holding a penny straight in front of your nose and focusing on it. Try it, I dare you. You won’t be able to see anything else but the penny.

But if you choose to look at something beyond the penny, something bigger and stronger – perhaps a person… then the penny suddenly becomes non-existent. All you can see is the person beyond it.

This is what its been like for us the last couple of weeks.

If we chose to dwell on the fact that Danny was in the hospital, that was all we could think of. It tore us up… to see him go thru tests and not know what was wrong, or how it could be fixed… hardest thing ever.

It was all we could see.

But the moment we looked past the “penny”, remembered Who created Danny, and how He still has an amazing plan for his wonderful life… well then all we can see is God. And we knew it would all be ok.

God never gives up on a plan He has for someone’s life.

He is the same. Always.

But it’s still up to us to choose if we will focus on Him, or on the situation.

Let me leave you with one thought…

God is everything… the situation is just… a penny.

Focusing on Him helps put things in a perspective I never realized until this week.

So thank-you, for all who prayed for our family… all who sent e-mails, facebook messages, phone calls… or even simply a hug or understanding smile.

I, for one, couldn’t have kept perspective without the encouraging voices that surrounded me in all this.

And for those of you who don’t know us, but have been praying… we felt that too.

God is Greater.

This message was sent to my family by my wonderful, exhausted, Mother… who has never left Danny’s side. 24-7 care… sleepless nights… and Mother’s Day meal in the hospital waiting room. (she deserves an award above any other mother I know… proud she’s mine. J )

What she says sums up very well, I think… (as well as includes medical terms I never understand.)

Mom’s e-mail…

Thursday May 12, 2011:

“We now know what the problem is and why he can't take in any nutrition......he has Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome. This is not a complication of the surgery, but a result of him losing so ,much weight. You can Google it if you want, but simply put, there is a branch of the Aorta that crosses the small intestine (which is normal) but because there is no fat, his spine is arched, and his abs so tight, the artery is compressing the bowel and causing a blockage. So the treatment is yet to be determined, but it will either be a new tube going thru the nose, stomach, and into the intestine to bypass the compression, or a G tube inserted directly into his abdomen with a local anaesthetic. Then there will be tube feedings to give him his food until he gains what he has lost, and probably until after the next surgery.....It will hopefully be temporary. They are still planning to give him a modified version of the TPN and if there is no reaction, he is scheduled to have the Pic line put in tomorrow at 10am.

It's good to know what the problem is, but now I really don't know when we will be home....”

Mom’s e-mail…

Friday May 13, 2011

“Thanks for all the prayers.....just our family, and there are prayers coming from China, Germany, BC, Oregon, Georgia, Florida, ON of course, and who knows where else? World wide, round the clock! Thank you and to your friends too who are holding Danny up in prayer. This morning at 9am we had the tube inserted into the nose, through the stomach, the duodenum, and into the jejunum with a guiding wire and radiology to guide the doctor. A second Dr. was called in to help with the procedure, and it took a little over an hour. Danny was given a mild sedative, but what is normally given could not be scheduled on such short notice. It is a miracle that everything fell into place, but we had everyone on the team pushing to get it done before the weekend. The nurses said after it was done that they are amazed with the Dr's we got, that they even did it without the usual sedation, and to have those 2 Dr’s in the same room at the same time is unheard of. We have an awesome God to orchestrate all that happened this am! The morning was absolutely exhausting, but the feeding has just started and I am already seeing some improvement. Danny was so weak he wasn't talking much, and not even laughing while watching Corner Gas.....but now he is talking in short sentences and starting to smile. Pray he will tolerate the feeding - it is pre-digested because it is bypassing the stomach, and also so he doesn't need to work to digest anything, just absorb it. It is being started at a slow rate, and increased in 12 hrs. If all goes well, the TPN will be discontinued at 6am tomorrow.”

So yes… it’s not over yet. And we still have some recovery (including sleep for my parents!)… and Danny needs to gain back the weight he lost (I’m praying for even more… cuz he’s SO small!) before he is scheduled to have hip/leg surgery that will untwist his body – preventing another situation of twisted bowel…

So this message is to say thank-you for your prayers!

They are working!!

And please don’t stop cuz this isn’t over yet!

But I know Who I’m looking to in all this…

He is Greater, Stronger, Healer, Comforter, Encourager…

And He loves Danny SO much… as do we all.

Thanks… we’ll keep you posted somehow.

Though, I have a feeling we may not even meet some of you this side of eternity. J

If that is the case, I can’t wait for you to meet Danny one day… he is my little brother, and also yours… thanks to our Father who adopted us ALL into this great family.

 Psalm 139:13-14 (The Message)

 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

      you formed me in my mother's womb.

   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!

      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

      I worship in adoration—what a creation!

   You know me inside and out,

      you know every bone in my body;

   You know exactly how I was made, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.