Graduation Syndrome

Ever felt like you were at a constant “crossroads” in life? 

(metaphorically of course… although as an intern I had been constantly at Crossroads. No pun intended.)

Approximately every two years I come to this place where it’s like “OK… I’ve done this and this and this… now what?” and then I go into a great time of waiting where God teaches patience… 

which I am very very bad at.

“What’s next?” I constantly ask… and where do I go from here?

So here, for you dear reader, I am going to break this wonderful time of life down into several areas of diagnosing this problem that I’ll call…

GRADUATION SYNDROME.

Graduation Syndrome (or Grad-Syn) is most common in young adults of approximately between the ages of 17-27.

However, there can sometimes be relapses of Grad-Syn later on in life that is more commonly known as the “Mid-Life Crisis”.

Symptoms of Grad-Syn can include (but are definitely not limited to – every person has their unique blend of symptoms) :

-          inability to surrender the future to God

-          worry (either about the future, money issues, or often just what to do with your life in general)

-          loss of focus

-          OCP (Obsessive Compulsive Prayer) 

Now we all know it’s an amazing thing to come to God with everything that’s going on in your life. But if you suffer from Grad-Syn, chances are you will tend to obsess about praying about anything and everything that pops into your brain about where your life is headed and you may even obsess about why nothing has happened yet.

I’ll tell you why… it’s not God’s TIME!

When we OCP, sometimes we take the focus off of where it should be and we can turn into these incredibly selfish beings praying prayers like that are so totally ME-focused.

Stuff like “Jesus if you could just work this out for ME I will do anything else for you that you want…” or “please just let me do this with my life and then I can do this for you.”

This attitude is completely selfish and when we are thinking and praying this way it is very difficult for God to bring us where He wants us in life – into all the great things He has called us to do. (Do not confuse calling with actually doing. God can call you to something, but if you don’t take instruction, get wisdom, and build character, what’s He gonna be able to do with you? Not much. This is something I’ve been learning first hand the last two years as an intern.)

Often we are so distracted by what we think we want in life, that we can miss out on what God really has for us.

We lose focus.

It’s all a part of Graduation Syndrome.

So how do we regain our focus?

How do we stay focused on God and not our own selfish ambitions?

In my experience it started with God stripping things away. 

Anything I’ve ever been selfish about He decided to kinda repossess, I guess you could say. (since it was all His in the first place)

When it was finally down to just the bare bones of me and my relationship with Him, He was able to speak to me and release something… it’s in a place of complete surrender that Jesus likes to show up, make you fall to your knees and just shake your world till you realize that it’s all about Him.

It’s all about humility and realizing that He is in control.

When it’s all about Him, your prayers start to change.

Instead of being entirely “me” focused, you start to pray for people and situations in life more. before you know it people’s lives are changing around you and eventually you’ll look back and stand in wonder at where God has brought you.

This is the last phase of Graduation Syndrome. And I think it’s a good place to be.

Always ready for change. Cuz change in life is such a needed thing!

During the early stages of Graduation Syndrome, change can cause worry, stress and all the other things that tear your focus off of who God is.

It’s all a process God takes us through… great thing is, He’s right there the whole time.

Once we shift our focus to Him, He promises to work all things together for good. He directs our steps and knows exactly what we need, when we need it.

If we stay focused on Him and what HE wants more than the Graduation Syndromes of life, a crazy thing happens. Things start to work out in your own life.

It’s like I’ve said before – He knows what you want, even before you do.

Things work out better when He’s running things.

This worrying we tend to fall back on, it’s just a syndrome.

Perhaps it’s not just me dealing with this, since graduation… perhaps it doesn’t just affect people between the ages of 17-27… perhaps it’s during all graduations of life.

During every process He takes us through to mold us into what He really wants us to be.

All of life is a graduation… and all of life is a beautiful change that He brings about in His own timing. A change that not only reveals more of who we are, but more importantly more of who HE IS.

Stay focused.

Seek His face.

He is the only antidote for Graduation Syndrome.

His face holds all the hope for your future.

A journey of trust.

A pursuit of Him.

Then stand back in wonder – years later – 

at all that He has done in your life.

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 

Jeremiah 29:11 (the Message)

Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

(New Living Translation)

Song on Repeat - Show Me Your Glory

Trying to decide what to tell you, dear reader…

Jesus is just so amazing. If you don’t know Him personally, my heart aches for you. And I know His does too.

This week’s “Song on Repeat” is full of a passion I wish everyone understood…

Can’t explain the depths of His love that is found in His presence in worship…

If you’re searching, keep going.

If you’re chasing Him, dear friend, keep running.

If you’re singing, sing til your voice is a remaining whisper.

If you see Him a little, beg for more.

Cuz He is so much bigger than our little human minds can possibly fathom.

Pursue His presence, and He will pursue and capture your heart.

Show Me Your Glory

- Jesus Culture –

I see the cloud, I step in

I want to see Your glory as Moses did

Flashes of light and rolls of thunder,

I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I'm marked by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes

I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did

Your glory surrounds and I am overwhelmed

I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Oh how we love you, Oh how we love you

Oh how we love you Jesus

Small-town Joys...

“I live a small life… well, valuable, but small.” 

(Meg Ryan – “You’ve Got Mail”)

I was trying to comprehend why I love my life here so much.

There isn’t really anything special that goes on in this town. People are the same here as they are anywhere…

We go to work, go shopping, and keep a relatively slow pace (well, for Ontario, we are slow-paced… if you compared here with – say – Nova Scotia or other such delightful places, we are chaotic!)

And people are born here, they fall in love, they live a great small-town life, and they die.

This town I live in has its wonderful quirky people… the man who sits on a park-bench just so he can snag the next person walking by and keep them for 20 minutes talking about nothing in particular. Or the lady who randomly stops you in the middle of the drug-store just to catch you up on the latest gossip, about people you’ve never even met. Or even the harmless drunk who knows everyone by name, but is never seen sober even at 9 in the morning. And don’t forget my favourite… the button man. He rides around on his bike and sells hand-painted buttons (you know, the kind you pin on your shirt) shaped like flowers and lady bugs and rainbows for $2, and claims that’s how he makes his living! J

My town is quite picturesque… beautiful parks by the river – ducks and all. A downtown café with hand-made chocolates, great coffee in the winter, ice-cream in the summer. A clock-tower surrounded by park-benches and memorials to the veterans who gave their lives so we could live free in this beautiful country…

You get the idea… it’s a regular small-town in the middle of nowhere.

It’s also the kind of town where kids grow up… kids with great potential, though they never know how much potential they have. Kids who, by the time they hit high school, will have succumbed to the lowest expectations our society offers to this generation.

Kids with a God-planned future to change things and live with a passion for God that this world has yet to see.

And yet these kids will grow up and spend all their lives trying to get out of this small town (and not saying all of them won’t, but the majority will stay) and in the end, they might wonder why they stayed and if their lives were effective at all.

I am one of these kids… didn’t see the potential. Didn’t know God had a plan for my life… for years I dreamt of getting out of small towns.

Yet God keeps taking me back to these little places that He created.

People are people. No matter where.

And God loves people.

So here I am. 23 years old… and I’ve fallen in love with these small towns all over again. (I say this in the plural sense, since there are so many towns in my area that I spend various amounts of time in)

God brought me back here, and though I have a love for adventure and the unknown, not to mention this desire for TRAVEL is crazy strong sometimes!

But I had a thought the other day as I strolled main street, coffee in hand, after just saying goodbye to a best friend before heading back to work…

What would life have been like if we hadn’t come back to the small town?

What if I didn’t work where I am, and didn’t have the friends that I do… I would sooner have it so the sun didn’t shine or even set in clouds of fiery pink and purple… though it does that here almost every night as well.

What if I hadn’t listened to God when He said to stay here?

None of this would have happened and I wouldn’t be who I am today.

It’s true, nothing’s perfect… and some days I just want to run far away from it all…

But God’s faithfulness never changes.

It’s funny how all of a sudden life isn’t about what I want anymore… but it’s so strange how, when I finally realized it’s all about what He wants, turns out it’s exactly what I really wanted in the first place.

So if you are reading this… remember: what HE wants is most important. And when He’s directing your life, nothing will compare to the joy that comes in seeing His plans unfold for you.

It’s what you really want, but might not know it yet. J

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

      I will advise you and watch over you."

 - Psalm 32:8. 

Danny - for those who have been praying.

Danny

Let me let you in on 2 of the craziest weeks of my life…

Some of you know my little brother, Danny. You know how he came to our family, and how much potential he has, and the smile and laugh that is extraordinary only to his personality.

You know his awesome sense of humour, and the brilliant mind he has.

And some of you don’t know him… don’t know the impact he’s always had on our family.

You don’t know… but you knew enough.

You knew something of the concept of the “6 degrees of separation”, that connect you in one way or another to the brown-eyed boy in the wheel chair.

Or maybe you didn’t even know that… maybe you’ve just heard that he needs prayer.

2 weeks ago, Danny went to the hospital. He had a twisted bowel, he had emergency surgery, and since then it’s been an up and down roller-coaster of emotions, tests, allergic reactions, and tubes… and my one brave little brother.

Reasons doctors only recently discovered.

But miracles happened.

God is greater.

Faith is a choice, my friends.

If you choose to stare at the trial God is taking you through – in this case, worry for my little bro – then that is all you can see. It’s like holding a penny straight in front of your nose and focusing on it. Try it, I dare you. You won’t be able to see anything else but the penny.

But if you choose to look at something beyond the penny, something bigger and stronger – perhaps a person… then the penny suddenly becomes non-existent. All you can see is the person beyond it.

This is what its been like for us the last couple of weeks.

If we chose to dwell on the fact that Danny was in the hospital, that was all we could think of. It tore us up… to see him go thru tests and not know what was wrong, or how it could be fixed… hardest thing ever.

It was all we could see.

But the moment we looked past the “penny”, remembered Who created Danny, and how He still has an amazing plan for his wonderful life… well then all we can see is God. And we knew it would all be ok.

God never gives up on a plan He has for someone’s life.

He is the same. Always.

But it’s still up to us to choose if we will focus on Him, or on the situation.

Let me leave you with one thought…

God is everything… the situation is just… a penny.

Focusing on Him helps put things in a perspective I never realized until this week.

So thank-you, for all who prayed for our family… all who sent e-mails, facebook messages, phone calls… or even simply a hug or understanding smile.

I, for one, couldn’t have kept perspective without the encouraging voices that surrounded me in all this.

And for those of you who don’t know us, but have been praying… we felt that too.

God is Greater.

This message was sent to my family by my wonderful, exhausted, Mother… who has never left Danny’s side. 24-7 care… sleepless nights… and Mother’s Day meal in the hospital waiting room. (she deserves an award above any other mother I know… proud she’s mine. J )

What she says sums up very well, I think… (as well as includes medical terms I never understand.)

Mom’s e-mail…

Thursday May 12, 2011:

“We now know what the problem is and why he can't take in any nutrition......he has Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome. This is not a complication of the surgery, but a result of him losing so ,much weight. You can Google it if you want, but simply put, there is a branch of the Aorta that crosses the small intestine (which is normal) but because there is no fat, his spine is arched, and his abs so tight, the artery is compressing the bowel and causing a blockage. So the treatment is yet to be determined, but it will either be a new tube going thru the nose, stomach, and into the intestine to bypass the compression, or a G tube inserted directly into his abdomen with a local anaesthetic. Then there will be tube feedings to give him his food until he gains what he has lost, and probably until after the next surgery.....It will hopefully be temporary. They are still planning to give him a modified version of the TPN and if there is no reaction, he is scheduled to have the Pic line put in tomorrow at 10am.

It's good to know what the problem is, but now I really don't know when we will be home....”

Mom’s e-mail…

Friday May 13, 2011

“Thanks for all the prayers.....just our family, and there are prayers coming from China, Germany, BC, Oregon, Georgia, Florida, ON of course, and who knows where else? World wide, round the clock! Thank you and to your friends too who are holding Danny up in prayer. This morning at 9am we had the tube inserted into the nose, through the stomach, the duodenum, and into the jejunum with a guiding wire and radiology to guide the doctor. A second Dr. was called in to help with the procedure, and it took a little over an hour. Danny was given a mild sedative, but what is normally given could not be scheduled on such short notice. It is a miracle that everything fell into place, but we had everyone on the team pushing to get it done before the weekend. The nurses said after it was done that they are amazed with the Dr's we got, that they even did it without the usual sedation, and to have those 2 Dr’s in the same room at the same time is unheard of. We have an awesome God to orchestrate all that happened this am! The morning was absolutely exhausting, but the feeding has just started and I am already seeing some improvement. Danny was so weak he wasn't talking much, and not even laughing while watching Corner Gas.....but now he is talking in short sentences and starting to smile. Pray he will tolerate the feeding - it is pre-digested because it is bypassing the stomach, and also so he doesn't need to work to digest anything, just absorb it. It is being started at a slow rate, and increased in 12 hrs. If all goes well, the TPN will be discontinued at 6am tomorrow.”

So yes… it’s not over yet. And we still have some recovery (including sleep for my parents!)… and Danny needs to gain back the weight he lost (I’m praying for even more… cuz he’s SO small!) before he is scheduled to have hip/leg surgery that will untwist his body – preventing another situation of twisted bowel…

So this message is to say thank-you for your prayers!

They are working!!

And please don’t stop cuz this isn’t over yet!

But I know Who I’m looking to in all this…

He is Greater, Stronger, Healer, Comforter, Encourager…

And He loves Danny SO much… as do we all.

Thanks… we’ll keep you posted somehow.

Though, I have a feeling we may not even meet some of you this side of eternity. J

If that is the case, I can’t wait for you to meet Danny one day… he is my little brother, and also yours… thanks to our Father who adopted us ALL into this great family.

 Psalm 139:13-14 (The Message)

 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

      you formed me in my mother's womb.

   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!

      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

      I worship in adoration—what a creation!

   You know me inside and out,

      you know every bone in my body;

   You know exactly how I was made, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

My strength in life is I am Yours...

During a time when life is so full of crazy learning experiences, tests of faith, late nights and early mornings… I stop for a second to say “hello” to the outside world.

I wish I had some wonderful epicphany to share with you… I do, and I’m working on writing some down. But for now they’re just another journal entry.

Yet, here is a real story from my life.

A young girl’s heart being pursued by her own Creator.

The Son of God became human, and died, so she might have an abundant life.

His wonder captivates me. With every sunrise, every note of music, and every heartbeat.

This tired girl is often overwhelmed with how huge life is… and yet overwhelmed in the best of ways at how much He loves her.

I encourage you (if you are reading this somewhere) if you’re not sure of His love, that you will begin to seek His heart for life… 
I challenge you to ask Him to fill your life with things of Him… 
I exhort you to put aside whatever is distracting you from His will and begin a pursuit of wonder and awe.

I assure you, you will never be disappointed.

Jesus will meet you more than half-way, and His dreams for you are bigger than you could ever imagine!

1 Corinthians 2:9 (New King James Version)

But as it is written:

      “ Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

      Nor have entered into the heart of man 

      The things which God has prepared for those who love      

      Him.”

This week’s “Song on Repeat”: 
You Are My Passion – by Jesus Culture

Mirrors my heart these days completely…

 I'm alive to bring, glory to You, King

God of victory, You are my passion

It's in the way You are, You don't change at all

Great and humble God, You are my passion

My strength in life, is I am Yours

My soul delights because I am Yours

Your will on earth is all I'm living for

Jesus I glorify

Jesus my love is Yours

You are my heart's desire

I live to know You more

Light that breaks the darkness, showing what true love is

Always full of goodness, You are my passion

You never do me wrong, the meekest man but strong

The most perfect song, You are my passion

Song on Repeat - God I look to You -- Take a Jesus Moment

Hey… so dead centre of a busy week full of intern stuff (most of which, I love.) I was just thinking…

Are you seeking God?

I mean like really… is He the reason you do what you do?

Just throwing that question out into this open void of internet connections.

I mean, have you noticed it’s in the little moments, even when you’re at your busiest and can’t seem to get your mind to slow down enough to sleep…

That’s the time when it’s really important to just look at things thru His eyes…

How does He see you?
He knows your situation... He wrote it all down and knew all about what you're going thru (get this.) BEFORE you were even born! (ya. crazy. I know.) 

What are you doing?

It’s not about works… we are covered by unending Grace.

But His calling to this life means such a high standard of living.

But that’s not easy.

That’s why we need to look to Him and not be overwhelmed.

In the midst of all the busyness and the insanity that we live in everyday, take a moment and just realize how magnificent our God is.

I pray that as you listen to this week’s “Song on Repeat”, it will be like the equivalent of how I feel when I just stop and watch the sunset.

Or when a child realizes the wonder of the first snowfall.

Or when a robin announces the magic of springtime.

May you capture a moment with the God of the universe – in the midst of a crazy week  (but then, I’m assuming your week is crazy like mine) that you would stop. Listen to these lyrics.

Realize once again the wonder and awe of the omnipotent God we serve.

One who gave His own life’s blood just so He could be in relationship with you.
And fall in love with Jesus all over again... simply because, He Is.

“Song on Repeat” – God I look to You

(Jenn Johnson – Bethel Church Music)  

Praying for Beauty for Ashes

Small-town, engulfed in tragedy.

The flames of last week were painful

My heart hurts for them

You can see it on their faces

Walking the streets of this beautiful little town

We’re hurting

The black ribbons all over downtown,

Houses and businesses alike.

The gaping hole strewn with ashes and rubble,

The blackened bricks and melted sign

Now lined with flowers in memory of the fallen.

What used to be full of busy shoppers,

Is now a solemn reminder of the fragility of life.

Life is short, beauty often overlooked

We are busy creatures,

Never taking the time to realize.

Never opening our eyes to see the hearts involved

But only the Father can restore our eyes

Only He who created can give us the ability to love

Love truly and fully… even in the midst of tragedy.

For out of ashes comes a beauty unknown

Out of tragedy can come triumph

Nothing can ever change the outcome of that sad day

But in the light of His unending love,

We can find hope.

He alone can rebuild and restore our hearts.

To console those who mourn in Zion,

      To give them beauty for ashes,

      The oil of joy for mourning,

      The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

      That they may be called trees of righteousness,

      The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

       And they shall rebuild the old ruins,

      They shall raise up the former desolations,

      And they shall repair the ruined cities,

      The desolations of many generations.

Isaiah 61:3-4

Praying my community hears the voice of God today.

Praying they recognize His love for them and that those who know Him can reach out to those who don’t.

Having faith that those who don’t know Him will seek in the midst of these sad days and find the only One who can heal their broken hearts.

- In memory of Kenneth Rea & Raymond Walter. 
Listowel Volunteer Firefighters who died a week ago.